the meanest thing to say

"For me, having a declared one-day 'grieving' process is just what I need,” says Genevieve S., 24.
Aren’t you over him yet, he has been dead for awhile now 6. Just think of all the good material you’re getting out of this.”, 84. “You never think of anyone but yourself.”, 43. Any information published on this website or by this brand is not intended as a substitute for medical advice, and you should not take any action before consulting with a healthcare professional. Very similar to the above, but it's worth noting that two women think this type of response is the absolute worst. “Things aren’t *that* bad, are they?”, 29. Then you'll be heartbroken right along with her.

Aren’t you always?”, 82. Aren’t you always?”, 87. “You can do anything you want if you just set your mind to it.”, 51. “You don’t have the ability to do it.”, 68. “I don’t care” What they hear: “Leave me alone. Reporting on what you care about. She brought this on herself 4. When women were asked what the most misogynistic thing a man has ever said to them was, these were their responses. Keep up with the latest daily buzz with the BuzzFeed Daily newsletter! “What are you worried about?

This one is best executed with an evangelical-style handshake, i.e. After you tell her it's completely fine to be upset, explain that you're always available to listen. “But it’s all in your mind.” 5. Rather than focusing on how your friend stacks up to her ex's new boo, explain how amazing she is all on her own. ", "You should be flattered that you have a stalker. “We have to get together some time.” [Yeah, right!

There is a reason for everything 5. There are many things we would like to say to our exes after a break up.Sometimes they don't come out the way we want them to because we get … We hold major institutions accountable and expose wrongdoing. Hearing it can leave a friend feeling like you’re not listening at all. “You’re always feeling sorry for yourself.”, 28.

Something for everyone interested in hair, makeup, style, and body positivity. Use of this site constitutes acceptance of our User Agreement (updated 1/1/20) and Privacy Policy and Cookie Statement (updated 1/1/20) and Your California Privacy Rights. “One day at a time” is a staple of 12-step programs, but the concept behind it works for heartbreak, too.

“You don’t like feeling that way? Marie L.'s reason for hating this one: "Ugh. “You just need to give yourself a kick in the rear.”, 5. Go out and help people and you won’t have time to brood…”, 91. “It was dismissive of what I was feeling and the huge hole that was now in my life,” she says. ", "Girls don't have dreams and aspirations. "It's, like, 'Wow, how long have you thought I was stupid for liking him?" Some of the most disrespectful things you can say are 100 percent penis-free like "Surmayye a'raasac" (A shoe is on your head). “Take a hot bath.
“Nobody is responsible for your depression.”, 99. “There is always somebody worse off than you are.”, 23. California residents can opt out of "sales" of personal data. After that they start losing their beauty. Psych Central Staff writers are vetted, professional authors and science journalists. Search, watch, and cook every single Tasty recipe and video ever - all in one place! "Superficial things like who's hotter or who's dating more attractive people after don't matter," says Cindy H. "All that matters is that I was attracted to my ex, which is why I dated them in the first place." “Why don’t you give up going to these quacks (ie doctors) and throw out those pills, then you’ll feel better.”, 94. I know it hurts now, but you won't ever have to deal with that again, and that's beautiful.". And you're seriously insensitive for a human being in the 21st century. Um, have you ever heard of Meredith Grey? Don’t shame someone for knowing herself well enough to make a hard choice. “Well, we all have our cross to bear.”, 95. Breakups that happen because two people want different things don’t have to get ugly, and there doesn’t have to be a villain. “Have you been praying/reading the Bible?”, 31. Discover new workout ideas, healthy-eating recipes, makeup looks, skin-care advice, the best beauty products and tips, trends, and more from SELF. 8. 16. "List concrete reasons they're better off without the ex, like now they can move to the new city they've always wanted to try," says Alana R., 26. Begin by writing down the mean phrases each of you uses most often. Constantly fearing death.

I was depressed once for several days.”, 78. “You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar.”, 48. “You can make the choice for depression and its effects, or against depression, it’s all in YOUR hands.”, 55.

You can have another child still 7.

“There are a lot of people worse off than you?”, 13. I Feel The Need To Say This First, Because I Think That Sometimes People Forget It: Celebrities Are Still People. And don’t do me any favors, schmuck.”, 86.

", "Women should get married by 25. Basically, say you are feeling dishonest. advice, diagnosis or treatment. “Heartbreak doesn't last forever. Lilli P., 32, says she got this advice from her mother, but in slightly more ribald language: “My mother has literally told me, ‘The best way to get over someone is to get under someone else.’” Good friends will encourage you to enjoy life, whether that means dancing with a stranger, swiping like a maniac on Tinder, or taking time away from dating—whatever it takes to affirm that you were special and whole when you were single before and you still are now. According to her, it's basically the same as saying ‘Oh, sure, you can't have the person you want, but you can have someone else." To revisit this article, visit My Profile, then View saved stories. ", "If you become a surgeon, no man will be happy marrying you. That’s what I always do when I’m upset.”, 35. This cliche is an infuriating thing to say to someone going through a difficult time.

SELF may earn a portion of sales from products that are purchased through our site as part of our Affiliate Partnerships with retailers. You are then more likely to see other people as dishonest, and this makes you, in a sense, feel more honest yourself. Obsessed with travel?

Tell her that even though you know she's strong enough to get through this, you'll be there for the totally normal moments when she doesn't believe that herself. It can be hard to remember the thrill of a new love when you're mourning the loss of a previous one. From "honey, I'll put the kids to bed" to "you are the most gorgeous woman in my life," here's your script. 21 Incredibly Offensive Things That You Should Never Say To A Woman. After her marriage dissolved, Stephanie S., 38, says that this was the exact opposite of what she wanted to hear.

It’s often painful and confusing to adjust to life as a single person, but everyone gets by with a little help from their friends, right? 4. Worst Things to Say to Someone Who’s Depressed, Learning To Trust Yourself Again After Betrayal, Many Seniors with Depression Faring Well During Pandemic. Giving someone permission and space to grieve can help them find the energy to make the next day a little bit easier. (False on both counts.) “Depression is a symptom of your sin against God.”, 54. Sure, it may be true, but your opinion might come as a surprise to your friend. ", "If you want to make it in academia, get tenured before getting pregnant. says Alana R. Instead, try reflecting some of her complaints about her ex back to her in a constructive way (and only on the days she actually wants advice, not when she just wants to cry/eat her feelings/generally indulge her sadness). “Everybody has a bad day now and then.”, 45. Ad Choices, Real Women Share the Best and Worst Responses to a Friend Going Through a Breakup. “As you get stronger you won’t have to wallow in it as much.”, 8. If only things were better…” No, life isn’t fair (and I hate to break it to you, but it never will be). It doesn’t matter if the relationship ended with a dramatic fight or a carefully navigated and loving conversation—the aftermath can convince someone that she will never know happiness or find love again.

You're right. There are some sentences that act like deadly silent ninjas, killing self-confidence and antagonizing your friends, family and colleagues—the worst thing is that you might not even realize it. “What you need is some real tragedy in your life to give you perspective.”, 83. You should be fine.”, 67. “Get off your rear and do something.” -or- “Just do it!”, 59. “Go out and get some fresh air… that always makes me feel better.”, 92. Some people trivialize depression (often unintentionally) by dropping a platitude on a depressed person as if that is the one thing they needed to hear.

Yup. There’s no one-size-fits-all time limit for getting over a breakup, but that doesn’t mean it can’t be helpful to be reminded that dating and hookups can be a lot of fun.

", "You can't be a good CEO and a good mom at the same time. “I was committed to spending my life with her,” and comments like this diminished the magnitude of her choice to get married and why she felt so devastated after the breakup. Should women just calm down and relax too? When women were asked what the most misogynistic thing a man has ever said to … The Worst Things To Say 1. Right, because women should be defined by fake beauty ideals. This is beyond your control, so let it go. Do not do this during a … So, change it.”. "There are plenty of fish in the sea!" So, unless you feel that plundering their home is a good idea, don’t just take things offered to … All rights reserved. The trick to making her believe this one is coming prepared with proof—otherwise it can seem generically insincere. People have things to do, so don’t assume it’s all about you. “I think your depression is a way of punishing us.” —My mother, 81. He is in a better place 3. This can be especially hard to watch when it is your friend going through a breakup: You know she's awesome and she'll find love again, but she's still crying into a glass of pinot grigio and deleting pictures of her ex off her Instagram every night. Husbands, stop worrying about knowing the exact "right" thing to say to your wife. ), 12. Sure, and you're asking to be robbed just by owning a wallet. Remind your friend of positive accomplishments and experiences happening in the here and now.

Not ringing a bell? That way you won’t be thinking about yourself so much.”, 98.

The Worst Things to Say to Someone in Grief. “I thought you were stronger than that.” 6. If you ever feel the urge to say this, stop yourself. It doesn't even have to be something that monumental—anything that helps her realize there's exciting potential in being single will do. 1. Research supports this idea. “As you get stronger you won’t have to wallow in it as much.”

", "You should think again about being a physics major. “Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.”, 34. Here's what to say to a friend going through a breakup—and what not to say, too. “The world out there is not that bad…”, 74. “You should buy nicer clothes to wear.”, 46. “Just wait a few weeks, it’ll be over soon.”, 70. “Have you gotten tired yet of all this me-me-me stuff?”, 3.

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